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I´m not what you read

Sunday, October 24
Columbia University Campus BuildingsImage by mchart929 via FlickrWhen the thing is better, they call me jew. they call and think on me as a jew, I don´t know why. In Columbia University, for pay my talk, somebody asked me for sign some kind of document where I had must to declare what is my  race (and they mean classification of humans). What is my race? I write there: "latino". Then I signed the paper. Yea, is that a kind of race, a cultural competition.
I´m really angry when they don´t think in me like a cuban, or like a caribean or southamerican. They think on me on north. And this is not my north at all and never was. But is there where the identities´s player comes to me. I feel so confused then, that I go out of the tramp like a mouse. I just do what I must to do for my body becomes another thing. I go outdoors like a jew, and walk on the New York streets like non-white people do, the whole world shaking on the ritmo de mis caderas. I walk, while afroamerican people tell me things like "God bless you" or "Walk camera" (the eyes and the smile as a background of a lens of his fingers). And I´m in love of those moments. Moments when I´m being something that don´t have a name. Moments when I´m more near of the confuse than of the filiation. An emotive confusion. A truely non-place of (my?) indentity.
Todas esas capas que ahora me son orgánicas interactúan con el afuera violentando los estereotipos que pueden violentar para lograr conexiones, y también, dejando ir los estertores espontáneos de un aprendizaje que organizó sus preferencias de una manera profundamente arbitraria, inconsciente, desconocida en sus mecanismos...
Soy la otra que se encuentra fuera de contexto.
I´m not what you see.
I´m not what you read.
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4 comments:

María Villares said...

I am not the one who reads you, I am not any describable thing...just watching the steps on the grass....because will be no traces...ore maybe just a thin trail in the air...impossible to remember... People think to be something, anyway, this helps to keep going to nowhere...

Leitora said...

Oh, Lizabel. Como te comprendo y, de una manera nueva, como tu me haces comprender mi misma en una situación que (ahora me di cuenta) desde dentro de mi confusión accepté desconfiadamente.

Broken Spanglish said...

Hi Maria, my lovely sister! Watching the steps on the grass, yes, without traces... I like to be at nowhere, your nowhere. Now here because is two or three places at the same time... I like this nowhere/nowhere not because is nothing, but because is more than one thing.

Broken Spanglish said...

Hi Leitora,

Me alegra que llegues. ¿Tienes blog? ¿Vives en USA? Let's keep up the dialogue.

Thanks for non-read these non-writings.

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This is a bilingual blog, bad lingual one, of the writer Lizabel Monica. Powered by Blogger.

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